A place where I can chronicle my family's journey through cancer. A place where WE can discuss our concerns. A place where WE can inspire each other. A place for hope.

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Big T

So. Today is a big day. It is the first day in a very important and long process that will **hopefully** do the trick in setting my mom into a deep and long remission, until a cure is discovered. Yesterday I went to bed with a mix of emotions... This day has been a long time coming. And you would think 7 months would be plenty time to prepare yourself not only mentally, but also physically and spiritually. But the truth is, no amount of preparation can make you feel "ready" for this kind of procedure. Unless you've gone through it before, you really have no idea what to expect. And even if you have, I doubt the second time is the same as the first. We figure, it is best to just take this thing on a day to day basis. It can get a little overwhelming if you look at the process as a whole. So, baby steps here. Let's hope this thing goes by as fast as treatment has (its already been almost 7 months!!!).

In other news...
This has probably been one of the longest weeks of my life. Let's see:

Thursday (July 8) - Newspaper interview

Friday (July 9) - Front page news, damage control, last day of chemotherapy before transplant, PEREZ HILTON shout-out. HUGE influx of facebook group members!

Saturday (July 10) - Global Shift article

Sunday (July 11) - Unproductive M.A.M. Meeting

Monday (July 12) - Drama/Crisis/BIGTIMEDamageControl. My very first meltdown :) (total gongshow, by the way)

Tuesday (July 13) - Productive M.A.M. Meeting

Wednesday (July 14) - Bone Marrow Biopsy Results (74% down to 16%!!!!)

Thursday (July 15) - A **LOT** of M.A.M. Work

Friday (July 16) - Monsters Against Myeloma is LIVE!

Saturday/Sunday (July 17/18) - Rest

Monday (Today) - Begin Autologous Stem Cell Transplant process.

Shiz. We've definitely been busy. Overall, I think my stress level has probably gone up a couple notches. From the fundraiser to some family issues to the stress of the transplant, it is a miracle I have not been admitted into an institute yet. To tell you the truth, I am absolutely terrified of this transplant coming up. Not so much the procedure itself (although that is undoubtedly a bit daunting), but more so wondering how my mom will take it... All I want to do is protect her, but in these situations, it is QUITE a frequent occurrence to feel powerless... But not hopeless. Because there is ALWAYS hope. Sometimes it feels like a David and Goliath battle. But we all know what the outcome of that situation was right? ;) So, like every other day, I put on my brave face and do everything all over again. Its not easy, but you'd be surprised in the places you are able to draw strength from. We're starting a new chapter now, so wish us luck :) And for my prayer warriors out there, please pray that this thing goes without a hitch. That my mom has a super speedy recovery. And that it will be the last thing needed to set her into a long and lasting remission. Thank you :)

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network


  1. I align with your intentions for a successful transplant, that all hands at work on your Mom are guided to do the best they can to bring her through this easily and correctly, that her recovery is brisk and filled with positive events for her and those around her and that this transplant brings her added years and better health.... so be it and SO IT IS... Amen.

  2. Hey there!
    Again I totally know where you are right now. My mom is heading home tomorrow from her transplant, barring complications overnight. She was in for 15 days (or getting out on Day +12 I believe) and its a wild ride. Please feel free to email me as I would be happy to share her experience with you. As you know everyone's journey is different, but I have learned a TON during this process. There are some days that the best thing you can do is just be there, even if you are sleeping in the chair next to her while she sleeps. Have faith, you both will get through it, just take things a moment at a time.

    Good luck to you and your mama bear!
    -Laura :)

  3. I am praying for your Mom. Sorry I haven't helped more with Monsters against myeloma-not doing too well. I am praying for a successful concert too.


  4. Sandy: Beautiful. Thank you so very much. That means a LOT <3

    Laura: I hope your mom is doing well! Hopefully this will be the last thing she needs before a cure is found. I would LOVE to hear about your transplant experience. The process has already started and I'm getting a little anxious :S

    Rebecca: You have been such an immense support from the get-go :) You have helped plenty! Are you ok? I hope you get better and stay that way!