Standing Ovation

Also,

Another member of the ListServ posted this earlier today. I love it!

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.  'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.' So she did, and she had a wonderful day.  The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she only had two hairs on her head.  'Hmmm,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.' So she did and she had a grand day.  The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.  'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a ponytail.' So she did and she had a fun, fun day.   The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.  'YEAH!'  she exclaimed, 'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

Attitude is Everything! 

Hair loss is a common side-effect of chemotherapy seen in cancer patients. Although many will often say that "Hair is just hair, it'll grow back", the issue can often run much deeper. Hair is not just hair, it's something that is a part of our personality, like our laughs and our smiles. The hair loss associated with chemotherapy is a strong symbol of a cancer patient's plight. Because momma bear is due for a stem cell transplant sometime in the summer, this is an issue that I have been thinking of quite frequently. Before all this stuff happened to us, as someone viewing from the outside-in, I used to associate the hair-loss as a sign of frailty and sickness. However, my perspective on the issue couldn't be any more different now. Now, whenever I see a patient suffering from chemotherapy-induced hair-loss, I see it as a true sign of strength. This might sound a bit awkward, but I really do think that this image, this "symbol", is actually quite beautiful. To see someone fighting so hard and willing to do whatever it takes, it is a sign of bravery, strength, and perseverance. One that deserves a standing ovation.

Believe

So, did any of you catch the 20/20 episode that aired a couple nights ago? Wasn’t it FASCINATING!? It was about miracles, and just so happened to be right on time for Easter weekend! One of the profiles featured on the episode involved a woman named Audrey Tugochi, a retired school teacher who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Liposarcoma, a cancer that arises in the fat cells of our body. Upon diagnosis, she was instructed to start chemotherapy but refused and instead, opted to pray to Father Damien De Veuster.

This is probably an appropriate time for a little history lesson. Father Damien De Veuster was a Belgian priest known for his work with leprosy patients in Kalaupapa of Molokai Island in Hawaii. It was an island where lepers were basically shipped and banned to for fear of contamination. Father Damien was the first to go to this island voluntarily, knowing full well that he would contract leprosy. While experimenting on himself for possible cures, Father Damien died of the disease in Molokai in 1889.

Now, back to Ms. Tugochi. Without any chemotherapy or other treatment, except that of faith, Audrey’s cancer receded and completely disappeared. Umm…WHAT?! Turns out I wasn’t suffering from premature hearing deficiencies because I had heard that correctly. Disappeared. Amazing. The Vatican later concluded that this was an official miracle, leading to the canonization of Father Damien, or rather, Saint Damien. Now, this is by NO means, an easy task. There are very, very strict and rigorous guidelines that the Vatican undergoes before officially labeling an event as an official “miracle” and canonizing an individual.

For an event to be recognized as an official miracle, a team of doctors and experts (not necessarily catholic, but the most qualified) chosen by the Vatican are hired to examine cases deemed as miracles. In addition to this, the Vatican also enlists what is called an “advocatus diaboli”, or in popular terms, a Devil’s Advocate, to present reasonable facts against the case and promote the “truth”, whatever that may be. Or, as Michael Shermer, head of the American Skeptics Society states, be “Mr.Skeptic”. The criteria that these individuals use for a confirmed and official miracle state that the miracle be: Lasting, Perfect, Instantaneous, and Scientifically Inexplicable. In order for an individual to be canonized as a saint, there must be proof of the intercession of at least two miracles by said individual. Interestingly enough, canonization does not make someone a saint. Rather, it is only a declaration that the person is a saint and was a saint even before canonization. So basically, it is a process of recognition, not certification.

I’m not a hardcore follower or anything, but I do believe and have faith in Christianity. Whether or not you believe in the same higher power as myself, I do think that believing and having faith in something is important. For many of us, it gives us something that sometimes science and medicine cannot. Hope. The closing segment of the episode put it nicely. “and yet the overwhelming belief of miracles persist. Perhaps it is only human to yearn for something more powerful, something to save us or the people we love in our times of need. For those who do know, these modern miracles are part of faith that has sustained them”.

Moral of the story? Well, as Journey once wisely sang, "Don't stop believing. Hold on to that feeling". Choose something to believe in and don't ever let go! Believe that you'll get better. Believe that they'll find a cure. Believe that you'll see the day your grandkids are born. Whatever it is, just believe.

The following are links to the 20/20 episode and a newspaper article that featured Audrey Tugochi’s miraculous recovery.

Miracle

Audrey Tugochi

Happy Easter everyone :)

**UPDATE**

I was reading the paper today while we were in for treatment and just so happened to discover that the National Post also did a piece similar to the one featured on 20/20. Ch-Ch-Check It Out!

Revelations & Tribulations

It's a little late right now, but I can't sleep (oh who am I kidding, I can sleep like it's nobody's business). There's just stuff on my mind that I need to let out.

It's been a little while since I posted anything in regards to treatment or myeloma-related. Life has been pretty consistent lately, nothing exciting. But I guess boring is good for now, right? Last week was the end of cycle 2, which felt like it went by in no time! February, in general, seems to have flown by! Good news is, the Velcade/Dex regimen seems to be doing its job and will hopefully continue to do so! M-spike levels are down by about 30% since diagnosis, which is pretty great considering we've only just finished our second cycle! As far as side-effects go, we've been blessed. And I'm thankful for every little blessing each day has given us. Aside from the obvious, my mom (and our family in general) hasn't been this healthy in a LONG.ASS time! She no longer needs to take iron supplements and her blood pressure is sitting at a very optimal level (around diagnosis, it was as high as 180/110!!! Now it hovers anywhere between 95/55 to 125/75). Things are, undoubtedly, a lot better. Ironically, cancer has forced us all to change for the better. We are stronger physically, mentally, and spiritually. Body, Mind, and Soul.

The other day, I told some of my close friends about the little situation that my family and I are in. A minor setback. I had told others, who are just as close to me, awhile back and it bothered me that I had waited so long to share the news... Which then triggered contemplation-mode. I had once wondered why my mom chose not to share the information with more people. I thought to myself, "if it were up to me, I would have tried to surround myself with my friends and family because I need their support through this". I know that she didn't (and still doesn't) want to tell many people because of all the commotion and stress it can cause on others (especially the grandparents), stuff like that. But it dawned on me the other day that the main thing that was pulling me back from telling my friends earlier was just simply because... It hurts. I'm not less-closer with these friends than the ones who already knew and am, by no means, in denial (I am trying to be as proactive as possible).But I realized that, for me, it all came down to the simple fact that it hurts every time I have to tell the same story. No matter how many times you tell someone that you or your family member has cancer, it doesn't really get easier. Every time I have to acknowledge that fact, it stings and it leaves a feeling of emptiness inside that brings you back to that "oh yeah" moment where you remember how serious the circumstances really are. It's like opening up scar tissue that has just finished healing. It's a wound that will never fully heal.

Despite that little revelation, I'm glad that I did it anyways. I'm not sure if this is how my mom feels, and I don't know if it will ever get any easier. In fact, this whole path that we've been shoved onto has been full of ifs, buts, and i-don't-knows. But what I DO know is that we've made it this far and are stronger than ever. I used to be a fairly pessimistic person, preferring to be safely negative than run the risk of being optimistic and disappointed. Complaining was something that I rather enjoyed, embarrassingly enough. But I've come to realize through all of this that there is always a good in every situation. How does that saying go again? You will always be able to see the light of a candle, even in a world full of darkness? My thoughts exactly. I'm taking baby steps here on what will undoubtedly be a long and arduous road. Will I ever be happy when I am complaining? I think not. And I want to be happy my friends, I want to be happy.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Quotables

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Teresa

Quotables

"Hakuna Matata"

- Timon & Pumba

RANDOM

So.

On a COMPLETELY random and unrelated note... I thought I would share with you a little - let's called it a "moment" - that I had a couple days ago.

Scenario: Mom is somewhere not where I am. Dad is downstairs. In other words, I am alone. Or so I thought........

Basically, I had some free time before dinner and decided to listen to some music on my ipod. Apparently, it was just THAT good that day because it pretty much "made" me start busting out into some serrrious moves. No jokes, it was basically a scene right out of "Rhythm Nation" or something along those lines (of course, to ME, that's what it felt like. To someone else, I probably looked like I was mentally unstable). Anyways, smart little me decided to set the volume to a level where I couldn't hear anything else. So, amidst one of my ultra pro dance moves, I ended up swinging around to see my DAD (yes. my FAJA) looking at me like I needed to be institutionalized (to the normal eye, that might have been what it looked like. but to the TRAINED eyeballs, a true professional was blossoming that very moment). I guess it's like that quote... How does it go again? OH YEAH, "Dance like no one is watching".

Most.Literal.Interpretation.EVER.

"Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth." - Mark Twain.

Guess my parents will be listening to my lovely yodels in the near future!

But honestly. I'm glad he saw, because it's times like those where you realize you can't always take life TOO seriously 24/7. My actin' a damn fool is clear evidence of such. Even though we are affected by cancer, we have to live. If anything, cancer is EVEN MORE reason to do so! So, in conclusion, be free. live. love. laugh. Believe. and have no fear.

Quotables

There is no cancer that has not been survived by someone, regardless of how far advanced it was. If even one person has succeeded in healing his cancer, there must be a mechanism for it, just as there is a mechanism for creating cancer.

- Andreas Moritz